It’s already been one month without you here on Earth with us. Things have changed so much. Papa is starting to begin the healing process. He put up the painting/picture of you from DO McComb&Sons in the living room, your favorite room in the house. I went over on Saturday while he was at the train club to see it. It was a beautiful day, 63° outside (in February!) It was really sunny, and the sunshine was shining through the windows.
It still hurts all of us that you’re gone. It still hasn’t fully hit me yet. I miss you everyday. I can’t believe it has already been one month. There is so much that has happened that we wish we could tell you. Zachary turned 11, Papa and I went to dinner at Azar’s and had a 700+ calorie piece of pie, so many colleges are mailing me letters, etc. I have your picture as my background. My lock screen is a picture of you and Zachary from when you were in hospice care (which was also the last day we saw you alive), and my home screen is a picture of you and Papa at Coney Island hot dogs this summer. You looked so happy in that picture. I really miss you. I still remember the feeling of holding your hand in the hospital and how warm it was, I still remember when I went and visited you in the ICU the day after you were admitted and you had the BIGGEST smile on your face. You were so happy to see me. You squeezed my hand hard and I didn’t want to leave you. When mom and I left I had a strong ache in my heart because I just couldn’t leave. I miss you. The next few months will be hard and I don’t think it will ever settle in my mind that you’re actually gone. This is just the first month, there are a whole bunch more to come. I love you.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are grey
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
So please don’t take my sunshine away