5 Days Until My World Turns Upside Down

That’s right, 5 days from now I will be moving into my college dorm for my freshmen year. It is exciting, nerve-wracking, and overall completely terrifying. It is such a huge step in my life and I am kind of ready for it? But kind of not at the same time. It is at this moment where I have to rely on all of the life skills my parents taught me, where I have to lean on God more than ever, and where I just have to trust in Him and myself that I am going to be okay. It has been a long road coming, but I cannot believe it’s getting down to the end where my mom hands off the baton and sets me free. I keep trying to tell myself “hey, it’s okay” and to hone in the anxiety, I have to keep telling myself that she will miss me but it’s okay if we don’t talk 24/7. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult now and there’s responsibility. I am not a kid anymore. It is so scary. This post is short, but trust me; my list of worries is a mile long. I can’t wait to see how my dorm room turns out though! πŸ™‚

A Look Back Through High School

As the school year ends and I get ready to graduateΒ in 3 days, I just wanted to reflect back on my time at EAU and how much it has changed my life.

I cannot imagine not going to EAU after all these years, it was the best decision I have ever made and I was the young age of 13 at the time. The faculty and students are amazing and make everyone feel welcome and a part of the EAU “family”. It was not like any other high school that I’ve seen. Our classes develop such a tight bond by the end of senior year because we don’t gain any new students throughout the years.

I have grown so much in my time at EAU and I am so appreciative of the teachers who helped that happen. Lots of encouragement and time spent to help better my skills. I will miss my teachers soooo much, but I feel so ready for college after going to EAU and earning my Associate’s degree already.

I will definitely miss all of the people, good memories, and comfort of my high school.

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Here’s to the last 4 years of high school and to what awaits in the future!

 

If I could be honest for just a second, here’s what I would say…

School started a month ago and I already hate it again. I was so excited in the days leading up to it, so why does this happen just a short month after?

I see myself half-assing assignments, half-assing friendships, and half-assing my life in general. What happened? Maybe it’s the work load, maybe it’s my conscience, maybe it’s just the weather outside.

I got put into some pretty tough classes this year. I have U.S. Government and First Aid and Intro to World Lit and Cultural Diversity and Spanish and Anatomy & Physiology and English 12 and finally, Finite Math. Thankfully there’s only 4 a day and a study hall in there. Blue days and gold days. Blue days and gold…every year since freshmen year I’ve been handed some pretty bad gold day classes that have a shit load of homework in them, but this year, it’s both my blue AND my gold day classes. I’m depressed and stressed and frustrated and annoyed. I have 3 English classes this year. 3x the papers, 3x the reading, ON TOP OF my other classes. I should just be thankful for block scheduling.

I need to step it up. I really, really, really do. I can’t keep half-assing everything.

You have to fight through the bad days in order to earn the best days.

And I’ll try…

S.L.

…We’re almost done

It just occurred to me today that there is only 6 days of school left this year.

6 days left of my junior year. :- (

6 days until we don’t have the seniors around… :- (

6 days.

I cannot believe how fast this year has gone. It feels like it was just January and winter break and the semi formal and prom… prom! And now there are only 6 days left. I cannot believe that I will be a big bad senior next year… the time for college applications,Β  scholarships, and the last hoorah until we all go our separate ways. It doesn’t feel like 2017 should be this close. It always felt so out of reach… and it’s literally a year away – well, half a year. But shhhh, I don’t want to talk about that.

I’ve already taken a few finals, I have one on Thursday, a few on Monday, Tuesday, and on our last day Wednesday. I’m so not ready but at the same time, I’m ready!!!

These are just some recent captures from the past 2 months @ school…

I’ll probably come back once we are out of school for the SUMMER!!

Late at night, yet still awake

12:53am.

It’s late. Or should I say early? Whatever. School’s been bothering me lately. I don’t know if it’s just me and my motivation giving out, or if it’s the school itself. EAU is wonderful, but it’s been kicking my butt lately.

I, the person who usually cried when missing school, am wanting to stay home all the time.

I, the person who usually obsesses over homework and grades, am not caring anymore.

What is it? Is it just junior year? Will it ever get better?

I have to ask Him, I have to ask Him why He isn’t showing up in me like I want Him to. I need Him more than ever right now, but I guess I’m not trying hard enough.

12:56am.

I’m worrying if I’m ranting too much. Am I? I mean, I haven’t blogged in a month and I guess you can see why now. I haven’t been feeling it lately. And how ironic, the last post I posted was about positive thinking. Ha, how much a month can do.

Looking back, not much bad stuff has really happened; in fact, more good things have happened recently than the bad. So why am I stuck on these bad things? My teacher won teacher of the month because of one of my nominations, our team made it to state and completed 2nd in the state for our class, I’ve found great friends, I’m not failing my classes, my mom put up Christmas decor. So maybe I should be focusing on happy things versus sad things. It’s a hard change to make, but I think I can do it.

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1:05am.

I can, and I will, let love win this time. Goodnight, guys. I will update my blog as soon as my mom has more Christmas up πŸ™‚

S.L.

A Life Update & Some Positivity for Your Saturday

Hello, it’s been another long period of time without blogging. Okay, there is a lot of updating to do. School’s been busy so I apologize for not updating as often, but I still care about you guys and I still enjoy blogging.

I am very impressed with myself in the education and homework department of school. So far I have 5 A+’s, 1 A, and 2 B+’s (which is EXTREMELY good for me because 5-6 classes I take are for college credit). I’ve been getting my homework done (for the most part) and I got a B on my first Accounting test! Whaaaaat?! I am so proud of myself.

ALSO, Mrs. E gave me a photo mission: take pictures of students for the Student of the Month. WHICH EQUALED GOING TO THEIR CLASSES, PULLING THEM OUT OF SRT, AND TAKING THEIR PICTURE. Which means hell for me. I decided to challenge myself and do the job, and in the end I felt so stinking proud of myself. And so did my teacher. After I did all the students, she told me “I am so proud of you for doing this. I know it is outside of your comfort zone, and I am proud of you.” It made my day. She is so caring and down to Earth as a teacher and that is a great quality to have.

This year I am deciding to move on from the issues and focus my energy on other things, such as friendships with new people (since there is officially 4 classes at our school and lots of opportunities at new friends), as well as doing more homework. I am hoping to achieve my goals. I am already talking to more sophomores (I have 2 classes with mainly sophomores because I decided to take Art this year vs. last year, and I am taking Mass Media again). The bus rides are hilariously fun as well. As much as I find myself being really sad, I find myself laughing a whole lot more lately.

Another thing I would like to update you all on, is my photography. I took some pictures here and there since the last time I updated that I want you to see.

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I know that to some people it might not be classified as ‘photography’, but to me, it is.

Now, onto some positive pics to end your Saturday (from my Tumblr tag ‘positive’). πŸ™‚

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I really hope you all are having a good night/morning wherever you are! I am having a pretty good night myself. I am feeling very content with myself and it’s a great change.

Until next time,

S.L.

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I’m still here!

I have officially made it 2 weeks into my junior year in high school.

Dang.

That’s a scary thought. It feels like I just started 9th grade?

I just wanted to let you guys know that I am still here and well! I just haven’t really had the time to blog. Which I hope you understand. (I can only do so much).

On the plus side, I’m still trying to take pictures as much as I can. Unfortunately, though, I haven’t been keeping up with the Photo A Day thing AT ALL. And it really disappoints me. I don’t know. I feel like time is literally being sucked out of me. Why? My mother tells me “wait until you get older”. Man, I can’t imagine how much faster it will go by. It already FLIES. Why are our days only limited to 24 hours?

Okay, enough of that.

How about some (a lot of) photography?

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None of these were taken on a camera, they were taken on an iPad! I am sooo impressed with the camera quality of those things.

Ever since school has started I’ve been really tired. It will feel so good to sleep in tomorrow! I have an Accounting test on Monday so I will be studying for that tomorrow. (I hope I can get it down before the test). There is a lot of vocab. on it. The teacher gave us a Study Guide, and I’m hoping to make some flash cards for vocab. Yippee.

Now that I’ve updated all you lovely people, I think it’s time to log off. I hope everyone has a good night/morning wherever you guys are! β™₯